"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, " Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." - Mark 6:31

Earlier this week at prayer meeting. I had a plan. I planned to do my usual Tuesday routine which was to take a stack of empty prayer request cards, fill them out, then go to the altar to pray over them.

As always, God had something else in mind.

For some reason, I just could not sit still to fill out the prayer request cards! I kept looking at the altar & debating whether or not I should go there now. Eventually, I surrendered & headed towards the altar.  God did not waste any time speaking to me. He headed straight for my jugular! He said to me, "Of course you don't want to get into communion with me, you don't know how to submit to a Father! All your life you thought you could do it on your own & that you were responsible for your own life, you never had a Father to submit to so how can you submit to me, the Almighty God?! Instead of trying to become the virtuous woman of God I created you to be, start first with being the virtuous DAUGHTER  I created you to be!

Yup, God came at my neck.

Have you ever wondered why is it I just can't seem to get the hang of Life? No matter how still or patient I am (or at least try to be), I still haven't gotten everything figured out yet? The fact that I am still wondering what God created me for frustrates me to no end. But then, I have to ask myself, "Are my spiritual headphones on?" "Is there something God is trying to tell me but my disobedience is hindering me from hearing it?"

There is currently so much I am mentally taking in right now between people coming in & out of my life, priorities not in place, financial strains, God's chiseling (O, don't you love it when he does that?), my life currently not moving in the direction I expected it to & the list goes on and on and ON...I. NEED. REST.

Frankly, I. am. TIRED.

Tired of just doing life & not being alive. I want to be captivated by what I'm after. My priorities need to be disciplined into place. My priorities MUST be aligned to God's perfect & acceptable will for my life. I need to seek His face. I want to be chasing after Him. I need to meet him. I desire to have a fresh encounter with God in a mighty way! I am tired of avoiding Him. IT'S CLEARLY NOT WORKING OUT! He loves me too much to let me run off & do my own thing. I want to AFFIRM the Will of God. I want to stand in His truth not just day by day but moment to moment.

I. am. TIRED.

Tired of creating fantasies in my head and then getting frustrated when my fantasies don't intersect with REALITY.  I need to stop looking for signs & just seek the One who's spirit lives in me! I am tired of doing everything BUT what the Holy Spirit asks of me.

The buck stops here.

Effective immediately, there will be no new posts on The Bklyn Lotus. I say until Monday December 5, 2011. But who knows what God says?  Until then, please check out The Friendship Issue & Courageous September.

EnJOY His Freedom. EmPOWER Others. EnCOURAGE Yourself!